We’ve all had those moments in which we feel like darkness is eating up our lives (you might even be going through it right now). You feel empty, lonely, and hopeless. You’ll question why this is happening to you, and allowing these negative feelings to overstay their welcome might lead you to the wrong path if you’ll continuously allow these emotions to rule over you.
I’ve experienced different scenarios, and bad as they were, they have helped me move on towards brighter days. I won’t tell you to sweep all your feelings under the rug and get back up right now, but I will share about the little things that have helped me move through these moments, and I hope they will help you with whatever you’re navigating through right now, too.
Cry it all out.
Release all of the hatred, the pain, the frustration, and all the negative emotions that you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling for what you are going through. We are going through different situations in life and no one else could understand what we are exactly facing because they aren’t in the same shoes as us (and even if we try to explain it, they won’t fully understand us), that is why it’s important to be honest with yourself and to allow yourself to feel the pain fully.
Maybe you’ve been stressing yourself out by thinking about why you have your problem. Breathe, and take a step back if you need to. The additional stress you’re putting yourself through helps no one. Remember, the goal here is how to get out of what you are going through. You don’t need to dwell on it and give yourself more problems which don’t exist. You’ll just end up on a slippery slope than ends up being an endless pit of despair.
Allow space for you to enjoy other things.
Work out, watch your favorite series, cook your favorite meal, plan that quick getaway, etc.. Okay, so you are having a hard time finding answers to your questions, maybe some questions won’t be answered in a snap. Forget about it first. I’m not saying keep replying on temporary pleasures to forget about the pain, I’m telling you to distance yourself from it momentarily and ensure that you will be able to be in a better state before you go back to fixing your dilemma. Once you’ve been able to unwind, then it’s time to go back to facing reality. Sometimes we are able to find answers when we are not looking for them. Sometimes they are unexpected blessings, like in moments you’re laughing with friends, in trying out new things, or in the peace and quiet of a long drive.
Find a support system.
I didn’t know how to help myself back then. Eventually, I met some friends who turned into family who made me feel that I wasn’t lonely and that they were willing to help me get through those problems. While no one else could completely relate with what you’re feeling, it is really important to have a support group, to have people who are aligned with you, to have someone who will help you get back on track and keep you accountable. As time went by, my mindset was starting to change. It’s really a crucial aspect to choose who you spend most of your time with because they have a huge influence on the way you think and act. From others, I have learned how to help myself.
Believe in yourself.
This is the best thing you could do after crying it all out, relaxing your mind, and distracting yourself with what makes you happy. No one else could help yourself better rather than you. Believe that you are strong. Believe that this is only a challenge that you are bound to face and not something that you should be stuck in. Believe that you deserve to be free from regret, hatred, and anger. Believe that you will be happy.
I’ve had a very dark past, and I’m glad that it will just remain in the past. I’m sure that I will encounter problems in the future, but I totally have a different approach in life now. I finally understand that there is no good about letting the negativity rule over your life. I already have this mantra wherein I shouldn’t let things that I have no control over stress me out and life’s way better. Here’s the thing, before you help other people, make sure that you know how to help yourself first. You won’t be able to help other people if you are broken deep inside.
You may have heard the overused Bob Marley quote already that goes, “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘cause every little thing, gonna be alright.” Cliché as it seems, I want you to keep this line in mind. I want you to do the things that make you happy. I want you to say what you want to say. I want you to value the life that you have. You are heaven-sent. You are a gift to a lot of people. You are a puzzle piece to this universe and without you, it won’t be the same.