How much of what burdens you is not yours to carry? Do you have troubles that don’t have much to do with you but you allow to occupy your mind anyway? Have you been pulling yourself down for the comfort of others—stunting your own growth in fear of how others will react? The answers you get from asking yourself these questions might be a lot more unpleasant than you realize. As commitments to other people pile up and you feel the need to stretch yourself thin in order to please everyone become stronger and stronger, think about how much of the time and energy you give others could be put to better use when you give them to yourself.

Listen to: “Hang With Me” by Robyn

Must-watch: Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

Keep in mind:

You can’t change people. You can change your expectations. You can set boundaries and make decisions about how much time and effort you give. You can refocus your attention. You can practice acceptance and letting go.

Daniell Koepke
Art by Ines Longevial

Having this desire to please everyone will take more from you than just your time and energy. Your self-worth slowly and slowly gets depleted when it depends on something as fickle as the love of other people—and that’s not the basis of your value that you deserve to have. Learn to know your worth without the need for validation from other people.