The skies darken halfway through the day, and in the blink of an eye, so does my mood. What’s with the sudden downpours of rain that affect our feelings? Why does this season somehow become the time to feel several things at once? Whether or not there’s a logical explanation for this, we all have had our fair share of “senti” moments brought about by the rain.
To satisfy my curiosity, I looked up “why the rain makes us sad” on Google. Unsurprisingly, it provided me with some scientific answers. Apparently, there is this thing called Seasonal Affective Disorder, which explains the gloomy feeling we have when the weather’s not so good. It’s because of our insufficient exposure to sunlight that has been associated with low levels of melatonin and serotonin, cravings for carbs, sudden weight gain, and sleep disturbance.
Could that be it? Well, I’m not in any position to diagnose anyone, even myself, with that. So I’ve listed down all the feelings that have suddenly come rushing into me at this gray time of the year. And hopefully, going through them makes all of us feel less alone.
We start longing for the unknown.
This cuts the most when you’re single. Not that you need to be romantically involved with someone to be happy, but every once in a while, we have this longing to be held and be cared for, right? It occurs most when you walk home drenching from the rain by yourself, or when your only company in bed as the cold wind rushes into your room is your playlist or your Netflix account. Be it for a person or for a particular activity, the longing is real.
It’s like all of a sudden there’s something lacking in your life, but you can’t pinpoint what it is exactly. You just feel incomplete. Whatever it may be, I hope one day, in whatever season, you realize that you should be enough for yourself.
The weather causes time to slow down.
You wait for time to pass by because, for some reason, it slows down. And when time is slow, it causes you to look around and start dwelling on everything happening around you—all the pending work, the problems you keep setting aside, and to top it all off, there’s the existential crisis waving at you.
Back in summer, you always complained about the heat and the physical hassle of the weather. Then, come the rain that brings you not just the inconvenience of traffic and surged Grab fares, but the ever-present burden of your own emotional baggage.
We feel a lack of motivation.
And because we unintentionally find ourselves syncing in with the slowdown, we feel like whatever we do leads to no impact, or that there’s no reason for us to do anything. We tend to be dismissive and procrastinate, because you see news of students’ classes getting suspended nationwide, but you’re an adult that’s left with no choice to cope with all your responsibilities and keep the show going with the added burden of a more difficult and expensive commute.
We scramble for any piece of advice on the internet or in our horoscopes to determine our next action because we don’t want to depend on ourselves to make that decision. Yup, the weather might have caused that, too. Or do we just find it easier to blame our shortcomings on things that are not as tangible? *thinking emoji*
Whatever it is that’s bothering us, just as how the seasons come and go, so will these feelings. Whatever kind of ‘senti’ you’re feeling right now, trust that it gets better each day. Trust that it will unwind and find a way to figure itself out in its own time.
We may have science to look for possible explanations, we may have friends to turn to as the sadness arises, but at the end of the day, we take charge of what we feel and it’s a matter of grasping what works well for yourself and making it matter for the best.